Twitter Beef Jerky
In an effort to recover from a disappointing third quarter, Twitter is making a bold move into the next big tech boom: Beef Jerky.
While the move to long-lasting, gnawable snacks has long been in progress, Twitter’s recent announcement came as a shock, leaving many to speculate as to its wisdom. In late 2008, social media giant MySpace opened their generally unpopular line of fruit leathers in a move that was ultimately viewed by economists as the first major nail in the site’s eventual coffin. Similarly, blogging platform Xanga’s user base began a noticeable decline after the introduction of “XanGum,” a gum that proclaimed to have a blog post on every stick–a detail that was too expensive to be sustainable. Regardless of the new potential of the current jerky boom, critics say, the move has a history of inherent risk.
Twitter, though, remains resolute in launching its new Twitter Beef Jerky, slamming social media with introductory marketing for its five starter flavors: Original “OG” Twitter Beef Jerky, Drake Twitter Beef Jerky, Meek Mill Twitter Beef Jerky, Rihanna Twitter Beef Jerky, and Chris Brown Twitter Beef Jerky. The company does not advise combining the flavors in certain combinations due to what they call “conflicts of taste,” and does offer a warning to those sensitive to spicy foods that its Chris Brown Twitter Beef Jerky “packs a powerful punch.” Meek Mill Twitter Beef Jerky is perfect for when you’re feeling salty.
While the product is only currently available online and in small batches, reviews are already pouring in. “My favorite is the Drake Twitter Beef Jerky,” says long-time Twitter user Maddi Anders. “It’s really unique without being particularly flavorful or all that interesting to eat.” Not so for jerky enthusiast Jamie Rowe, who says: “If it’s going to have a 140 calorie limit, I need something with substance. OG all the way, ya heard?”
Whatever the reaction of the public, Twitter Beef Jerky is making a big, peppery splash. No word has been given on whether Facebook will follow suit, but market analysts expect that beef jerky’s salty, chewy, smoky profitability will continue to rise, eventually tempting even traditional food sales holdouts like Google and LinkedIn. “People will always have Twitter beef, might as well have Twitter Beef Jerky!” ;)