Little Tykes Presents My First Military Drone
After the widely anticipated release of their “My First Drone”, Little Tikes has announced their plans to create a toy that will be on every child’s Christmas wish-list, and perhaps most Americans’, too. Produced in association with the United States government and Toys R Us, the “My First Military Drone” is set to be the cutest UAV on the market.
In an attempt to help better the opinion of military operations and save the popular American toy store, Little Tikes released an image of the prototype on both their Facebook Twitter pages. Once released, it will be available exclusively at Toys R Us. Sales numbers are projected to greatly assist the company, who’s currently fearing bankruptcy. Complaints of genocide and sizable government spending fell silent with the release of this miniaturized military-grade drone.
Praised by conservatives across the nation, the photo went viral, as far as capturing the attention of musician Taylor Swift, who has since agreed to promote the remote-control aircraft. However, the attention was not entirely positive. Currently set at the price of $3 mil, this costly little weapon is not affordable for your average militiaman, the lower class Republican. To challenge this, the NRA and Walmart have released their own prototype for what they hope to be an even more successful holiday surprise.
Walmart, considered the largest company in the world by revenue, sells firearms despite selling censored CDs, contributing to its image as a more conservative shopping option. The NRA was quick to agree to co-creating this original, and considerably unsafe, design. Though you need no permit to operate, this drone with an assault rifle attached is poorly labeled with “Adult Supervision Required” on the package. There are few safety precautions besides this. And despite its imperfections and questionable legality, the price tag of $2,000 is much more affordable for conservatives everywhere.
It’s rumored that Kid Rock or Ted Nugent will sponsor this brainchild of Ted Cruz’ wettest dreams.