Obama Issues Executive Order, Blames Disney For "Frozen" Northeast
Finally buckling to the demands of evangelical Christians, United States President Barack Obama issued a nationwide ban today on the sale of all products related to the Disney film, “Frozen.” President Obama claims that Disney’s freezing grip on the little girls of America has surely prompted the deluge of snow and record-low temperatures across the country, especially in the Northeast. The ban, which took effect this morning, has sparked an outcry from “Frozen” fans everywhere, who demand that Elsa and Anna-themed toys, clothing and party supplies be returned to stores immediately.
For weeks, right-wing religious group Gaga For God (GFG) has lobbied the White House, claiming that the runaway popularity of Disney’s 2013 film “Frozen” has the potential to cause serious problems for the nation. Christopher Olafson, president of GFG, said, “We thought that teaching little girls all about the benefits of witchcraft was bad enough. Now, the Northeast is facing blizzards and freezing temperatures of epic proportions. We have no one to blame but the heretics at Disney.”
In an unprecedented act of conservative support, President Obama, a Democrat, said he was putting his foot down on the sales of all Frozen-themed products, from shirts to shovels. “Effective immediately,” he told reporters in a press conference Friday, “all items carrying the ‘Frozen’ name or characters from the film will be removed from stores. I want people to know that I care about the problems we are having with the climate, and that I will do anything I can to stop it.”
President Obama’s executive order caused immediate backlash and protests at several Walmart stores across the country. Georgina Smith, a mother of three from Van Nuys, CA, learned the news when she went to the store to buy “Frozen” party supplies for her six-year-old daughter’s birthday celebration. “I just don’t understand why we are being punished,” she said. “It’s not even cold here.”
A White House spokesperson said that, while President Obama is considering lifting the ban once the weather improves, consumers should plan for the order to remain in effect for the time being.